Coaches are like onions

No, they don’t stink.

Professional coaches are trained, certified through comprehensive examinations and become part of professional communities that scrutinize thoroughly their activity from an ethical point of view.

No, they don’t make you cry.

Occasionally, clients may reach a point where they feel like expressing strong emotions, while becoming more and more aware of themselves, their patterns, limiting beliefs or attachments.

A professional coach is trained to help the client reach such awareness, as well hold the space for the client to process emotions in a healthy and safe way. Both skills – Evoke awareness and Cultivate trust and safety – are usually sign of mastery in the art of coaching.

So? Why onions?

Because they have layers^[1].

The complexity and depth of personal and professional experience of a person – throughout their whole life and, respectively, career – are a prerequisite and a sign for a great professional coach.

The complexity and depth of their self-reflective practice, on personal and personal and professional levels – are a prerequisite and a sign for a great professional coach.

The complexity and depth of their work on and with themselves to process and overcome the above experiences and self-reflection results – are a prerequisite and a sign for a great professional coach.

Why does this matter?

Because even pure business / executive coaching – for high achievers in very competitive environments or for whole teams – is about coaching the person, the human(s) in front of them, not the role and the titles.

Because unless a client understands that about professional coaches in general, they’ll never be able to take full advantage of the complexity and depth of their coach.

No matter how hard the coach tries to deepen the conversation or no matter how serious the client’s challenge is, the client will never be able to see their reflection into a mirror they themselves keep blurred.

That is not to say that depth is seen as the client’s responsibility.

But it sure does help.

Coaching is a partnership and it works only if it is seen as such by both parties.

This is a different take on the invitation to open up and practice vulnerability – as a tool that supports the success of a coaching partnership.

It’s an invitation to look at the person and professional in front of you – the coach – and account for a long series of layers that can unfold and blossom for your own advantage and in service of your goals.

There’s a lot more to coaches – or any support professional – than people think.

Coaches are not supposed to be like cakes

Which also have layers, true.

But unlike a cake, which is comfort food and an invitation to self-indulgence, onions keep the client alert.

A professional coach is trained to help clients grow. Being alert, attentive to themselves and the environment is a prerequisite of growth.

A coaching relationship is a partnership for growth, not for self-indulgence.

A support professional follows the best interest of their clients by helping them seeing and leaving comfort zones. Our competency to Cultivate trust and safety in the coaching relationship goes hand in hand with the one to Facilitate growth. It does not go hand in hand with Facilitating stagnation.

That is not to say that an onion-oriented growth model, instead of a cake one, is seen as the client’s responsibility.

But it sure does help.

Coaching is a partnership and it works only if it is seen as such by both parties.

Let your layers meet your coach’s layers. The result will be delicious.

***

This article uses humor to address serious aspects of the client-coach relationship. Please treat it as such. Reflect on your image of the coaching profession, choose professional coaches to work with and use the above ideas to guide your coaching journey.

^[1] Donkey – Shrek dialogue on onions, Shrek movie. Scene available on the internet.